I am gonna insist that we can, but I'm not gonna insist that we won't.

Look at the Big Tymers. LOOK AT THEM!

I was going to launch into a big-time joke about a Cash money records spinoff of the Big Tymers called the Egg Tymers, but basically the joke ends there, kind of like when people mention that the Akon song "Don't Matter" sounds exactly like "Remix to Ignition." There's just not that much else to kick around; unless you're Dave Barry or something, you're not going to brainstorm multiple punchlines about a song being the same as another, and the same holds true with Egg Tymers. Maybe you could use Photoshop (by the way is Photoshop the Kleenex of picture-editing software? Holler if you know what the Puffs would be [What if we called Kleenex Puffs? {What if Jesus were eaten by zombies?}]) to graft some eggs onto the necks of Baby Williams and Mannie Fresh. Maybe you could even make a video about the Egg Tymers, using re-tooled lyrics and clever trick photography to create a new rap group whose main concern was eggs, or the fact that their heads were eggs/egg timers, or both, or neither.

You probably shouldn't, but you probably can't resist.

That is the substance of Water and Vegetables.