From a New York Times article about How Hard It Is To Get Into A Good School:
That is a whopping 50 percent increase in applications over seven years ago and more than 10 times the seats available in a freshman class of 1,150. (emphasis added with bold instead of italics)
"Whopping" - an unoriginal, informal, and generally worthless word - saps any statement's vitality. Besides its informality (and the irritating detail that "to whop" really isn't a thing to do . . . yet), it fails in its attempt to conceal the writer's hunger. A solution that is both more lively and more honest:
That is a hamburgering 50 percent increase in applications over seven years ago and more than 10 times the seats available in a freshman class of 1,150. (emphasis added with bold instead of italics)
Imagine a meat tenderizer wielded by a mighty stack of college applications (fifty percent larger than last year). The stack, clad in Roman body armor, cudgels, muddles, and pestles countless hapless applicants until they look like juicy patties. Then they get shipped off to Hamburger University to do the Roy Krocarena at frat-sponsored dance parties.
It's about time editorial bylaws showed some damn chutzpah. So look alive, confused bastards; there's a new style manual just up the block. Even if it is not yet very extensive, it isn't afraid to wage war, and its name rhymes with "blogger and meta-fables."
