An internet video obituary for deceased religious figure Jerry Falwell surfaced sometime yesterday, but was quickly removed. Water and Vegetables provides a transcript of the video with consent of its creator, on condition that he remain anonymous (he appears below as "Vlogger").
[Vlogger is sitting in front of a Web cam at his desk]
Vlogger: Jerry Falwell died today.
I guess he didn't Feel Well [laughs].
Man, that guy was such a prick. He was always saying people were going to hell.
I bet you're in hell now Jerry Falwell.
[Vlogger stands up, begins beating a pinata with a photo of Falwell pasted onto it]
Vlogger: [In a singsong voice] You are so fat, you are now dead. Die Jerry Falwell die. You suck fatty.
[Pinata breaks]
Vlogger: Ohhh . . . YEAH!
[Vlogger returns to sit in front of his webcam]
[Eats candy]
Vlogger: Mmm this candy is so good . . .
Mmmm . . .
. . .
Moral ma-chocolatey!
So tasty and sweet.
[Vlogger Pauses and looks at candy]
[Vlogger looks back at beaten effigy of Jerry Falwell]
[Drops candy, wipes chocolate from mouth]
Vlogger: Jerry falwell died today.
. . .
I'm sorry.
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